Tips to overcome shyness and become more socially confident


Tips to overcome shyness and become more socially confident
Tips to overcome shyness and become more socially confident
Written by:

Lagat Kipkirui

lagat@mtkenyatimes.co.ke

Do you have hard time meeting new people? do you find yourself declining invitations? You very well be shy.

Shyness is when you spend too much time in your head judging yourself based on other people’s standards and opinions.

You are constantly trying to figure out how you should be acting and behaving in various situations. Do you have hard time meeting new people?

1. Embrace your strengths

In order to gain confidence and self-esteem, find something you enjoy and know you are good at. Focusing on doing this very thing, whatever it is, could help you overcome your shyness.

Think about how your unique strength gives you advantage over other people. Knowing you posses some unique qualities will boost your self-confidence for it will help accept yourself wholeheartedly.

2. Become self-aware

If you want to overcome shyness and social anxiety, you need to understand that people are not looking at you. Most of them are too far busy looking at themselves.

When you are around people, seek within yourself and observe your thoughts. By simply admitting your shyness, you can reduce your anxiety which in turn will help you relax. Once you become self-aware, you will be on your way to improvement.

3. Accept yourself

If you are always trying to fit in, you are doing nothing more than wearing yourself out. You should understand not everyone will like you and this is OK, it’s normal.

Everyone experiences times of insecurity and self-consciousness; it’s not just you. If you accept yourself and your qualities things will be much easier for you.

4. Take care of yourself

Taking care of yourself can totally boost your confidence even small things like showering; flossing your teeth and keeping your nails trimmed can make a big difference about how you feel about yourself.

When you add dressing well in addition to good hygiene, you will be surprised by how much better you feel about yourself. And with this increased confidence you will no longer fear meeting new people or striking up conversations.

5. Make eye contact as much as possible

Making eye contact is one of the best confidence activities you can do, direct eye contacts helps create more meaningful and emotional connection.

Have you ever noticed that when you are with a group, the person who is looked at the least is the one who talks the least? The more eye contact you make the more interested you may seem for it makes the other person know you are interested in the conversation.

6. Try talking

If you don’t start talking to people, you will never top being shy and awkward. Try to be more talkative and practice more openly with friends, family and even complete strangers.

Approach others and strike up a conversation, this will give you a chance to meet new people and you will be facing your fear of talking to others.

7. Start focusing on others

Shy people often feel they have come to come up with amazing topics to talk about, but this is not the case instead try to focus more on others and this will help take your mind from your shyness.

People always like talking to others who seem interested in them, so ask a lot of questions and be genuinely interested and before you know it you will so deep in conversation that you will completely forget about your shyness.

8. Take a deep breath

When you are around new people, you feel the anxiety and it overwhelms you quickly. Next time just excuse yourself and head over to the restroom or a quiet corner and then close your eyes and breathe. Concentrate on your breathing and breathe in and out slowly. This exercise will help you relax.

9. Relax your muscle when anxious

Relaxing your muscle is another way of dealing with anxious situations. You can do this by focusing on a specific part of the body then tighten those muscles for a few minutes then releasing slowly. Start from your toes then move up gradually and at the same time you also try deep breathing.

10. Focus at the moment

When you focus on the present moment, you take your attention from your self-consciousness. The next time you are having a conversation with someone, focus on the words they are saying, focus closely on what they are talking about, their tone and expression.

If you completely become absorbed by what the other person is talking about, you automatically shift your focus away from your shyness.

11. Mimic others interactions

If you have a hard time interacting with someone and you fell yourself getting all tense, try to mimic them.
I don’t mean full out mimic every single thing they are doing but you can mimic their posture and tone. This tends to give out the vibe that you understand what they are saying and you enjoy the conversation.

12. Start saying yes instead of no

Whenever you say no you create a barrier, you close all the doors and you miss out on a chance to meet new people and explore new situations.

Instead of always saying no to everything, give yourself a chance by saying yes. This will allow you to be around people and socialize with others who share your interests. If you constantly put yourself around people, you will get used to it.

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